Saturday, October 09, 2004

The Good Steward of The Land Offers Head to Historical Judges- But Refuses to Pony Up to St. Louis Audience on Mistakes

Debates, debates, debates. We know there are people out there who will say that Dubya won the debate last night. For example, Robert Novak (the "political analyst" who outed CIA agent Valerie Plame at the behest of "sources" in the executive branch) had this well crafted "political analysis" of the debate: "I thought Bush won the debate. Kerry didn't make any major gaffes but Bush showed he wasn't the ninny that he appeared to be in Florida." Now that's some hard hitting analysis. Mostly because Robert Novak has great knowledge on ninniness. How much does one get paid to watch the debates and write two sentences?

The Spinmeister Alert Today Is:
Vermillion

Of course the spin machines are up an running, however, despite Novak's oh-so-objective "analysis" of the debate, we are going to have to follow wily's mom on this one. Mother Wily calls it as: Kerry by a nose.

Yes, the PoTUS was definitely more on last night, and he had shed himself of the transmitter shaped hump. He came out aggressive, or as Fast Eddie put it "Jesus, he looks like he's all hopped up on something. He's frothing." It sort of wore off as the ninety minutes progressed. If in the first debate he'd brought 20 minutes of material for a ninety minute debate, this time he brought around 45 minutes' worth. Maybe next time he'll be up to an hour.

Oh, the highlights!

Early on Bush said "In the old days we'd see a threat, and we could deal with it if we felt like it or not. But 9/11 changed it all." and we have to say-- what? We could still deal with it even if we didn't feel like it? What? But after 9/11...? Like what's the opposite of this statement? We can't deal with it whether we feel like it or not? We're starting to see how this works. He hypnotizes voters with his stealth syntactical confusion!

And yes, he pulled out the "Seventy five percent of them (al Qaida) have been brought to justice. " Okay: a) what does he mean by "brought to justice"? and b) where the hell does this 75% number come from? In order for this to be accurate it would mean that a) they knew exactly how many memebers of al Qaida there were before they began bringing them "to justice" (suspend disbelief on this point long enough to finish argument) and b) that there are a finite number of al Qaida members, because if more were joining that would screw up your percentages. In short, this claim is a whole lot of hooey. Someone please call him on it.

"I saw a unique threat in Saddam Hussein." Yes, the unique threat posed by a guy who's got bubkus. Makes us think Dubya must not be very good at poker: like he'd fold when his mustachioed opponent had a pair of twos. So what was this "unique threat" (as opposed to the garden-variety threat posed by nuclearized North Korea and Iran)? "...the unique threat was that he could give weapons of mass destruction to an organization like Al Qaida..." Ah, oh yes. He might have given the weapons he didn't have to al Qaida. Oh yes. That's a real threat. Also known as a pair of twos.

We're pretty sure we saw Dubya lose a vote when he answered this question from Nikki Washington:

<>Mr. President, my mother and sister traveled abroad this summer, and when they got back they talked to us about how shocked they were at the intensity of aggravation that other countries had with how we handled the Iraq situation. Diplomacy is obviously something that we really have to really work on. What is your plan to repair relations with other countries given the current situation?

BUSH: No, I appreciate that. I -- listen, I -- we've got a great country. I love our values....I recognize that taking Saddam Hussein out was unpopular. But I made the decision because I thought it was in the right interests of our security....I recognize that taking Saddam Hussein out was unpopular. But I made the decision because I thought it was in the right interests of our security....

In short Nikki, fuck diplomacy.

We were also a little baffled by the fact that in the course of answering this question Dubya said that "People love America" even when they don't like America's decisions. Wow. People love America. It's kind of like he doesn't get out much. Yes, the Tooth Fairy really will leave a quarter under your pillow for that incisor.

On the question of Iran and nuclear proliferation Dubya said: "I fully understand the threat. And that's why we're doing what he suggested we do: Get the Brits, the Germans and the French to go make it very clear to the Iranians that if they expect to be a party to the world to give up their nuclear ambitions. "

Since when are we sending in "Old Europe" as the heavies?

Oh yes, and on that whole draft thing? Dubya says "I hear there's rumors on the Internets (sic) that we're going to have a draft. " Rumors on the Internets? Oh boy. And people jumped on Gore for "inventing" the Internet. His erstwhile opponent doesn't seem to be familiar with it at all. Great. We feel safe being protected by someone who might wonder if he has to do a separate Google search for each of the Internets.

And that's where Dubya started to get a little wingy. The issue was the draft. He said no draft. Kerry said back-door draft already exists. Gibson allows for an extend on the back-door draft issue.

GIBSON: Exactly. And with Reservists being held on duty...

(CROSSTALK)

BUSH: Let me answer what he just said, about around the world.

GIBSON: Well, I want to get into the issue of the back-door draft...

<>BUSH: You tell Tony Blair we're going alone. Tell Tony Blair we're going alone. Tell Silvio Berlusconi we're going alone. Tell Aleksander Kwasniewski of Poland we're going alone.
There are 30 countries there. It denigrates an alliance to say we're going alone, to discount their sacrifices. You cannot lead an alliance if you say, you know, you're going alone. And people listen. They're sacrificing with us.

And that is the PoTUS' final word on the back-door draft. He's going to issue a stop-loss order on Aleksander Kwasniewski of Poland. At least until after the election.

BTW, we think we saw Kerry pick up that vote Dubya lost earlier when three questions after her initial query he still remembered her name and her question. "Now, to go back to your question, Nikki, we're not getting the best cooperation in the world today."

"And there's a lot of good people working hard." Uh-oh. All that hard work. Actually, someone must have mentioned that people didn't really like the whiny hard work stuff. Being PoTUS is hard work, whaaaaaa!

When asked about why he was barring the import of cheaper drugs from Canada, Bush said: "Just want to make sure they're safe. When a drug comes in from Canada, I want to make sure it cures you and doesn't kill you. " Yes. He just wants to protect you from the Third World and their evil drugs. We thought we'd heard that before somewhere. And it seems we have. From the drug companies. And they're totally objective.

BUSH: We've got battling green eye shades.

Uh, yeah. That's what it must be.

BUSH: Is my time up yet?

You wish.

<>Environment? Dubya said "That's why I proposed a hydrogen automobile -- hydrogen-generated automobile. " Yes, he thought it up all by himself, right after he invented the Internets. "That's why I'm a big proponent of clean coal technology, to make sure we can use coal but in a clean way. I guess you'd say I'm a good steward of the land." It's funny, but that is conceivably one of the top five least likely phrase I would use to describe the PoTUS. Sinks Kyoto, wants to open the Alaskan nature reserves to oil drilling, and has overseen environmental havoc. Yes, "good steward of the land" comes just under "suave diplomat" on the list of Things Never Associated with the PoTUS.

BUSH: I own a timber company?

(LAUGHTER)

That's news to me.

(LAUGHTER)

Need some wood?

Yes, Good Steward of the Land.

BUSH: Embryonic stem-cell research requires the destruction of life to create a stem cell.

Um, actually, no. The stem cells are already there.

BUSH: Put a head fake on us.

???

So many interesting assertions, but the closing moment was when he answered this question:

"Please give three instances in which you came to realize you had made a wrong decision, and what you did to correct it. "

The bobs and weaves are hypnotizing. His answer in its entirety:

BUSH: I have made a lot of decisions, and some of them little, like appointments to boards you never heard of, and some of them big.

And in a war, there's a lot of -- there's a lot of tactical decisions that historians will look back and say: He shouldn't have done that. He shouldn't have made that decision. And I'll take responsibility for them. I'm human.

But on the big questions, about whether or not we should have gone into Afghanistan, the big question about whether we should have removed somebody in Iraq, I'll stand by those decisions, because I think they're right.

BUSH: That's really what you're -- when they ask about the mistakes, that's what they're talking about. They're trying to say, "Did you make a mistake going into Iraq?" And the answer is, "Absolutely not." It was the right decision.

The Duelfer report confirmed that decision today, because what Saddam Hussein was doing was trying to get rid of sanctions so he could reconstitute a weapons program. And the biggest threat facing America is terrorists with weapons of mass destruction.

We knew he hated us. We knew he'd been -- invaded other countries. We knew he tortured his own people.

On the tax cut, it's a big decision. I did the right decision. Our recession was one of the shallowest in modern history.

Now, you asked what mistakes. I made some mistakes in appointing people, but I'm not going to name them. I don't want to hurt their feelings on national TV.

(LAUGHTER)

BUSH: But history will look back, and I'm fully prepared to accept any mistakes that history judges to my administration, because the president makes the decisions, the president has to take the responsibility.

Yes, the PoTUS made little decisions and big decisions. And he knows what kind of a sneaky trick question this is! But he is not going to own up to a single specific mistake. No sir! Owning up to actual mistakes is for pussies! He'll take responsibility only when history judges his administration. And not a moment sooner.

On a final note: Afghan elections are today. Let's all hope for the Afghan people it is a peaceful process.

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