Monday, October 18, 2004

Because Tucker Carlson IS a Dick

If you haven't already seen it you should head over to Random Foo to check out the Daily Show's Jon Stewart on Crossfire. It is great to watch because 1) those of us left on this planet whose brains have not been sucked out by the onslaught of mindnumbing Britney Spears videos, "Survivor," Fox "News" and the partisan hackery that passes for "journalism" have been saying the same thing Stewart says for ages, we just say it to our mothers, partners, friends and pets; 2) he means it. Really. 3) Tucker Carlson is a dick, and it needed to be said. The fashion-challenged Carlson wasted no time confirming that he is, in fact, a total weenie, by trying to recast (some might say spin) the entire interlude. Listen, Tucker, you're thirty-five years old and my grandfather has more flavah than you. You look like someone who should be selling ice cream from a white van circa 1952. Clearly the reason why no one actually debates on your show is that you can't take someone with a brain who is actually invested in what they are saying. Besides, how can anyone be taken seriously on a show that actually pays money to Robert Novak?

The Spinmeister Alert Today Is:
Lemon Yellow

Other than Tucker Carlson, the spin was just humming along as usual. The theme today seemed to be shortages. Seems a top commander over at the Pentagon complained last winter that the troop shortages were causing problems in Iraq. Could that be the same troop shortages Paul Bremer was talking about and then tried to pretend it wasn't as bad as he said it was? Hmmm. Seems like there is also too much work and not enough man- and woman-power in police departments such as the perpetually alerted DC area. Wonder if the shortage there has anything to do with reservists, who are disproportionately represented in police and fire departments, being called up for duty in Iraq in response to shortages there... Speaking of shortages, have you seen the lines for flu shots? Whoo-wee. If you aren't over 95 with a compromised immune system, your best bet to deal with the shortage is the lottery.

Speaking of shortages, Bush today accused Kerry of using scare tactics. Which tells us that somebody in the Bush camp reads the Sunday Times. But, uh, guys, it was your Veep who said that if your opponent wins we risk a "devastating" terrorist attack. Nothing scary about that, eh? So we're thinking shortage of memory.

Seems undecided voters are a 'mystery.' And not just because one wonders how they could have held out this long.

Already problems with voting in Florida. Not only is Florida already having problems, but it seems that a Republican group in Nevada and Oregon who were registering new voters may have destroyed registration cards filled out by people who checked Democrat. Not only is this unconscionable, it's also a felony. Glad to see the GOP working hard to set the standard. We would roll our eyes, but watching our democracy get trampled on is too depressing even for cynicism. Looks like this election will be a doozy.

Shock and amazement! Seems that the Texas high court might have something to say about Mr. Delay's redrawing of district maps. Not Mr. Delay! My, my, my, but he has just such a perfect record.

The "filmmakers" who put together the anti-Kerry sock-you-mentary that will be airing on Sinclair networks have been slapped with a libel suit. And not from someone in the Kerry camp. We're shocked, shocked! We never would have guessed.

Dubya may think that things are going better in Iraq- but there seem to be some soldiers who beg to differ.

Kerry warns of Social Security privitization. Bush denies this is what he plans. We wonder if he can explain what he means when he says he wants an "ownership society" where 'young people' will pay into their private social security accounts? Funny how the sound comes out even when his lips aren't moving, innit?

Hmmm. It took three decades to track this guy down. Must be because he was so inconspicuous.

Britney Spears announced today that she will be taking some time off from being a vacuous pop star. She left us with these words of wisdom: "My prerogative right now is to just chill and let all of the other overexposed blondes on the cover of Us Weekly be your entertainment .... good luck girls!"



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