Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Governors who call other people Girly-men are doo-doo-heads

The WP had an article about Tom Brokaw's coverage of the RNC, this being the final convention of his career. The article begins with Bush's Brain giving Brokaw the talking points, and then launches into the anchor's frustrations at having so little time to talk issues on prime time, saying:

"God forbid there should be any fight over a platform. It's done in a secret vault five days before the convention starts. Delegates on the floor, either by instinct or instruction, are encoded not to say anything that will be off-message in any way."

On-messages tonight will be given by The Knave of No-Bid Contracts and "Democrat" Zell Miller who will give the keynote. Hmmm, is it possible the Georgian didn't have a good map? One wonders what his other personality- the one that keeps checking Democrat on all the forms- will do to while away the time while the other one talks tonight.

Tonight's speakers are apparently the "conservatives (who) will take center stage tonight", though Jerry Falwell, who is attending the convention, has not been asked to speak. I guess the speeches are meant to be in contrast to last night's "moderate" tone. The Governator said girly-man more times than anyone at any convention before and told his sad tale of woe in which he came to Cal-ee-fooohh-nee-aahh in 1968 with no money in his pockets, and that this made him feel the pain of Guatemalan immigrants. What is the appropriate response when an elected official calls you and your ilk girly-men? Do you call him a doo-doo head? Do you tell the principle? Obviously you don't ask the man who can bench press a Volkswagon to meet you at the flagpole. Meanwhile, the twins gave a tag-team speech that put sex and their grandmother in the same sentence, made everyone feel squeamish and oogie, and showed that they are, indeed, chips of the old block. Forcing a large room full of people to feel really uncomfortable while your daughters make inappropriate sex jokes must be how they prove that they are, like their signs and banners say, "People of Compassion." Perhaps the twins confused compassion with plain old passion?

At least one "Person of Compassion" seems not to have gotten the update about the new compassionate "message." Alan Keyes, carpetbagger extraordinare, declared on Monday that all gays and lesbians are "selfish hedonists." When asked if that would include Mary Cheney, the Vice Presidential daughter, he insisted that it would, "by definition." One more message of compassion from the GOP! These guys are practically Mother Teresa!!

On a final note, there were several protests of note. Among them were peace activist Medea Benjamin got into MSG, who managed to unfurl a banner during the Governator's speech saying "Pro-life: Stop The Killing in Iraq"; thousands of people out for the People for the American Way, who lined up silently and single file along Broadway waving pink slips to represent the millions who have lost their jobs; and the Billionaires for Bush, who proved to be quite photogenic.

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