Tuesday, August 31, 2004

"Just a little more budonkadunk, and then I would be good"

I've noticed that in the last few weeks the NYTimes has gone all what I can only call onomatopeic, utilizing vocabularly like budonkadunk and declarations of the ability to "straight up, ping-on, ting-on, ping-on, ting-on, ping-tong-tong-ping-tong-pong" that I might have imagined taking the starch out of the founding Misters Jones and Raymonds' shirts. This is, after all, the paper that refers to all persons as Mr. or Ms. or Mrs., even if they are L'il Kim or P Diddy. Maybe they are lightening up a bit.

I know the convention is the big news of the week, but it seems like such a yawn of an affair- even if they insist on introducing everyone as though they are a guest on Saturday Night Live. There was a minor stir as Michael Moore arrived at the convention ready to cover the gala affair for USAToday. Senator McCain sniped at the jolly documentarian, calling him "disingenuous." One wonders what the definition of "disingenuous" is at the RNC, where many of the more conservative voices of the party, and many of the big drivers behind the anti-gay fever and other big steps to the right have been asked to zip it and sit on their hands. Is that being genuine?

Some of the convention "news" has bordered on (or into) the insipid, such as the headlines that Laura Bush "hails Bush on his leadership." As if we were expecting her to stand up and say he's dumb as rocks and couldn't lead a boy scout troop. Now if she's said that...

Actually, I think one of the bigger news points was when our fearless leader declared that the war on terror could not be won. Has the veil fallen away? But within mere hours he was assuring veterans that "we will win... the war on terror." Wait a second, why do only veterans get assurances? What about the rest of us??? Ah, but then he recanted for us all, declaring that the cowboy in the white hat would indeed save the day. Why do I suddenly have images in my head of pancakes? And, and, and summer by the diving board? And, and, and... beach wear?
P
hew, don't know what brought that on...

On a final note, David Brooks, Washington-based op-ed writer for the NYTimes, posted an encomium to the GOP's "courageous conservatives" in today's edition entitled "The Courage Factor." He appears to be attempting to counter the view that the conservatives are being asked to stay quiet and let the "moderates" speak so that they can lull undecideds into thinking they aren't really all that bad. (Pwah!). In doing so he declares that Giuliani, Schwarzenegger and McCain aren't being given prime time slots because they are "moderates," but "because they are brave."

Uhhhh... I will grant you McCain. But Schwartzeneggar? I think someone has been watching too many Terminator movies. He goes on to say that their being "obsessed with character" and "self-conficen(ce) in their beliefs" equals "courage." So apparently Ahhhnold is brave for marrying a woman from a famously Democratic family, stating in magazine interviews that he had had group sex with other men, and then coming out of the closet as a Republican. (roll eyes here).

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